Almost Isn’t Good Enough

The season 3 premiere came so close to sucking me in again but then it fell short and you know what they say, almost isn’t good enough. I couldn’t think of a better way to say my (prolonged but still hopefully temporary) goodbye to these two than writing them letters. And I know there are people out there who loved the episode and who are feeling optimistic. I’m glad for them and I don’t want to taint that. This is just where I’m at personally. So disclaimer : DO NOT READ IF YOU WERE HAPPY WITH THE EPISODE AND LOVING DELENA AND NOT GIVING A CRAP ABOUT THE TWO MINUTES OF STELENA AT THE END.


A drop in the ocean,
A change in the weather,
I was praying that you and me might end up together.
It’s like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,
But I’m holding you closer than most,
‘Cause you are my heaven.

Dear Elena,

It’s funny how things work out. When I first met you, I had no idea I’d grow to love you so much. Damon and I have that in common. I’ve discovered so many things about you; admired your strength, cursed your stubbornness but mostly just fallen in love with the way you fight for who and what you believe in. Damon’s reaped the benefits of that and Stefan probably will eventually too.

It’s no secret, I’m not a fan of your relationship with Stefan and honestly if I had my way, you’d never give him the time of day again. But that’s out of my hands and I know it probably won’t go down like that. I still hope though, that one day you’ll realize, the other Salvatore brother is the one that’s meant for you.

You’ve looked into Damon in ways that you’ve never looked into Stefan. And he’s let you. I know that somewhere inside you, you understand what that means. I hope you treasure it.

I’m not writing this letter to shoot the breeze. I’m writing it because my dear, you’re on your own. 18 years old and mostly grown. It’s time for me to take a step back from this journey that you’re on.

Be careful with Damon. He’s more breakable than even you know – even more now that he’s trying recapture the man inside him that’s spent all those centuries hidden. Try not to hurt him anymore than you can help.

You and Damon mean a lot to me. I want you to find your way to each other. I want you to be brave and give him a chance. But I can’t make you do it and I can’t watch his heart keep breaking over you, over Stefan, over you & Stefan.

So I’m out, at least for now. But that’s no excuse for you not to be the woman I know you are. Fight for yourself first, Elena. I think that’s all I can really ask of you.


Dear Damon,

You know you gutted me tonight, right? It’s becoming a nasty habit of yours. I’m not even sure I know what to tell you – there aren’t words for the frustration and rage and pain I felt from you tonight. I know you feel as if you’ve failed but that’s not the case. You know better than anyone that you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. He’s your brother, you love him. Doesn’t matter whether I think he deserves it or not.

But you also love her and she’s the one who’s here and who needs you. You’re doing well so far; protecting her but not sugar coating the truth. She needs to understand what Stefan is – all of what he is – before she can make a real choice about being with him or not.

Here’s the part that worries me and I know that you’re probably not letting yourself think about it because you’re you. When Stefan does come back, she won’t just walk away from him. That’s not who she is and you wouldn’t love her as much as you do if it was.

Now I know you, Damon. I know who you’ve been, who you are and who you’re trying to be. I don’t doubt for a minute that you love them both enough to turn your back if that’s what they need. But god help me, I can’t be there to see it happen and I can’t spend the next nine months waiting to see if it will, hoping against hope that it won’t.

I know that Elena belongs with you. I know how much you love her. I hope she’ll come to love you back just as much. You deserve that and so does she. You two are part of me now and I’ll always be out there hoping that you find your way.


I feel like I should also point out that my reaction here has very little to do with Damon and Elena or their realtionship directly. It’s really about the writers and the fact I’m tired of making excuses or defending details. That S/E scene at the end really bugged me because I feel like it’s pandering and that makes me in turn feel as if my emotions are being exploited. I’m too invested in D/E for my own good probably but the relationship I have with this show has gotten abusive. TV is not supposed to be this painful to watch.

That’s the real reason I’m taking a break. I’ll catch up in a hiatus or next summer.


Inside The (TVD) Actor’s Studio

Well, it’s not really the actor’s studio but I’m a little bored and I have been very DEpressed so to counter that I thought I could have a little fun and y’all can too with the famous questionnaire that was conceived by Bernard Pivot and that James Lipton asks his guests at the end of every Actor’s Studio Episode.

Here are the questions and my answers. Leave yours in the comments!

1. What is your favorite word? DEstiny

2. What is your least favorite word? Epic

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? The idea that love laws can be broken and those who have been hurt can be healed when the right person loves them the way they need to be loved.

4. What turns you off? Other people trying to think for me or impose their beliefs on me.

5. What is your favorite curse word? Cazzo

6. What sound or noise do you love? Ian Somerhalder’s voice. Duh. And randomly, I also think it’s super cute the way he constantly says “by virtue of the fact”. Yes, I’m a dork to have even noticed that.

7. What sound or noise to you hate? Anyone made by one of those rabid fleabags. Extra hate if the fleabag in question is Jules.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Damon Salvatore’s personal bartender.

9. What profession would you not like to do? Stefan Salvatore’s nutritionist.

10. If Heaven does exist what would you like to hear God say when you get to the Pearly gates? Damon and Elena are two halves of the same soul. I should know. I made them.

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