World War Three (Written by Hailey)

Year: 2012

Date: December 12

Time: 9PM on a Thursday night

At the White House

Barack Obama: *hears a loud scream* Malia?

Maila: *comes out of her room sobbing* Daddy, it’s terrible!! The worst thing happened!!

Barack Obama: What happened?

Maila: Delena broke up and now Bamon is happening!!

Barack Obama: *groans* looks like I have to go call- *hears a rocketing explosion* what was that?

Security: *comes running in* Mr. President!! Part of the white house was completely destroyed!


Maila: Um Daddy.

Barack Obama: *turns to his daughter* what?

Maila: Well you see, there’s horrible fights on the internet about the prospect of Bamon and quite frankly, some people are very crazy. I’m surprised the white house is the only thing they have damaged.

Barack Obama: Well I’m putting a stop to this right now!

*Governor walks in* Mr. Obama sir, we have a problem.

Barack Obama: Do I even want to know?

Governor: Well, I don’t know how to break it to you but the city of New York is completely gone.


Governor: Well, to these people they are and they’re planning to go on a killing spree until Delena is back together. There’s already Bamon and Delena fans fighting in the streets.

Barack Obama: This is madness! Pure madness! Are we going to have to go to WAR just because a couple hooked up on the show??!!

Presidential Aid: I’m afraid so sir. These fans can get very violet. They won’t stop until Delena is back together.

Barack Obama: -___- give me a minute. *goes to lie down and turns on the TV*

Reporter: Breaking news here in the city of NY, or atleast what was left of it. *camera pans out and gives a view of the debris and wreckage that once was a lively city.* it appears the creators of a TV show called The Vampire Diaries, Julie and Kevin, pissed off fans by making a popular couple on the show break up and making a less popular couple get together. The Delena fans are in rage and who knows how long until they pull off their next attack? That’s all the info I have for now. Have a nice day everyone and remember, Delena forever!

Barack Obama: *staring at the TV in shock, mouth dropped to the floor* We’re going to war.

Oval office:

Congress: *staring at Obama in shock* so you’re telling us that we have to put our country at war with a bunch of teenagers just because of a TV show?

Barack Obama: It’s not just a TV show, it’s a matter of life or death. If the wrong couple gets together then the results will be catastrophic.

Congress: This is insane! We are not sending our troops out there to fight against some silly teenagers!

Maila: *glaring* MY FAVORITE COUPLE BROKE UP AND YOU GUYS AREN’T GOING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT??? FUCK YOU!!! *gives them the bird and storms off*

*windows shatter in every part of the white house*

Barack Obama: NOW will you consider it? If that’s the power of one DE fan, then I would hate to see what other DE fans could do. This could be the end of the world!

Congress: *sweatdrop* Uh-

*Mrs. Obama comes running in* oh my god, this is so awful. So terrible.

Barack Obama: *groans loudly* What happened?

Mrs. Obama: I just saw a picture for the next episode and Bonnie and Damon are in bed together!! I think they’re gonna have BEX! *breaks down into a sobbing fi*

Barack Obama: It’s official. We’re all going to die. *looks out into the street just in time to see a house explode*

Maila: Daddy come quick! There’s something you should see on TV!!

Barack Obama: Just tell me, heck at this point anything is possible.

Maila: You won’t believe it but the DE, BD, and SE fans are all at war! This could be World War 3!!

Congress: *sits in silence while gawking at Maila*

Barack Obama: Well, what do you want me to do about it?

Maila: The only way we can end this is if we call up Julie Plec and Kevin Williamson and tell them to give us back Delena!

Barack Obama: But then the rest of the fanbase is going to be ticked!!

Maila: There aren’t as many SE and Bamon fans as there are Delena fans. Trust me I know.

Barack Obama: *puts head into heads* all of this is giving me a headache. What are people tweeting on twitter about it? Or is the Internet shot down too?

Maila: I don’t know but I’ll check. *turns on computer and goes to Twitter* Oh my god, #DelenaWar is a top TT!! And at the very bottom is #Bamon but it keeps disappearing and being replaced by #BamonSucks.

Barack Obama: Let’s just hope nothing else happens. The craze will die down in a few days and soon everyone will forget about this.

*Suddenly horns start playing and a galloping of a horse could be heard.*

Barack Obama: *looks outside and sees a guy in an army suit waving a red flag around* the DE’ers are coming!! The DE’ers are coming! Hide yo wife and hide yo kids because the DE’ers are coming!!”

Barack Obama: 0_0

*banging on the White House door could be heard* OPEN UP OBAMA! WE KNOW THAT YOU ARE IN THERE!

Obama: What?? How did you get past my guards??

DE fans: Your guards are nothing compared to Delena now open up!

Presidential Aid: Should I let them in?

Barack Obama: Yes, we need to resolve this peacefully.

Presidential Aid: *opens door and three girls walk in followed by three more* Hello Mr. President.

Barack Obama: Who are you people?

DE fan: *steps up* My name is Linda, the head of the DE commute. And this here is Paige.

Paige: Hi!

Linda: And this is Hailey.

Hailey: Hi guys! *waves* and these other three girls are Krissy, Jen, Emily and Sara!

Barack Obama: Are you the girls causing this war?

Hailey: I’m an angel. I didn’t kill anyone but Paige went on a rampage.

Emily: We’re both sweet angels!

Paige: Damn straight!

Krissy: God these Bamon fans piss me off so much. I swear Julie and Kevin stole some of LJ Smith’s pot filled cookies!

Hailey: *laughs and high fives Krissy*

Linda: Now that we know each other, I think you know what we want.

Barack Obama: You want me to call the producers and get Delena back together?

Hailey: Exactly.

Paige: If you don’t comply..well, then we’ll be forced to overthrow office and make Linda president. Then we will convert everyone to DE and then we won’t have anymore problems with other shippers.

Emily: *says in a chippery voice* And I will be  vice president! ^.^

DE girls: *looks at Emily like she’s crazy*

Barack Obama: I think you girls need to go into a mental institute and fast.

Linda: All we want is for you to make a phone call. How hard is that?

Barack Obama: *finally fed up with this craziness* FINE! THEN WILL YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE?

Sara: Yes we will.

Barack Obama: *picks up the phone and is about to call when a horn started blaring and a horse galloping down the street could be heard* WHAT NOW???

Linda: *eyes narrow* it’s THEM!

Paige: Bamonators.

Guy on horse: The Bamonators are coming, the Bamonators are coming! Hide yo wife and hide yo kids because the Bamonators are coming!

Barack Obama: And here I was hoping to resolve this peacefully.

*three girls walk up to the White House, brimming with joy* Finally, we got one up on those stupid DE’ers! We ROCK!

Paige: Shut the fuck up. Bamon is the worse thing ever!

Linda: Agreed! Who the hell ships them? *pukes*

BD fan: We do!!

Hailey: Wait, are you @signalfire915??

BD fan: Yes, why?

Hailey: This is @Damon_girl

Signalfire: ONG Hailey! *runs up and hugs*

Hailey: *hugs back*

Paige: Why are you SIDING with the ENEMY??

Hailey: So I can’t be happy to see my Bamon friend? *turns to Kat* Girl you better get out of here. Things are going to get very bloody.

Kat: *sighs* fine, but only because I don’t want you to have to choose sides. *leaves*

Paige: *glares at Hailey* NOW can I kill them?

Hailey: Go ahead ^_^

Paige: Finally, I’ve been waiting to use this nuclear bomb on someone.

Everyone: 0_______0 WTF??????

Barack Obama: *breaks down and cries* not the White House, anywhere but the White House!

Hailey: Please tell me that you are kidding. How did you get ahold of a nuclear bomb?

Paige: I have my ways. *smirks*

Krissy: Ok but can we please not blow up the white house or ourselves please? The last DE group who used a atomic bomb to wipe out NY are all dead.

Paige: Hm good point. But what are we gonna do with these Bamon fans?

Linda: Hold em prisoner until we turn them into DE fans.

Bamon fans: I think we’re gonna leave now. Remember the next episode has BEX in it! SUCK IT DE FANS!

Paige: *twitch* Can I use my bomb now?

Linda: *glares* no, we’re going to capture them.

Barack Obama: *mouth hanging open as Linda and the other DE’ers successfully captured the Bamon fans*

Bamon fans: BAMON WILL LIVE ON FOREVER!!! Bonnie brings out Damon’s humanity more then that cunt Elena!

DE fans: *bitchslap* DON’T EVER SAY THAT AGAIN! *throws them in dungeon*

Linda: Now, about that call.

Barack Obama: *mutter under breath as he calks Kevin*

Kevin: Hello?

Barack Obama: Kevin, this is President Obama.

Kevin: Oh hey! I’m assuming you’re calling about the Delena situation?

Barack Obama: Yes, yes I am. DE needs to get together. Now. before I go completely insane.

Kevin: *sighs* Ok, I’m canceling next week’s episode and gonna do a heavily themed DE episode. I had this one made purely if it got this extreme. Never thought I would have to use it.

Barack Obama: Thank god. *hangs up and turns back to DE fans* Your precious couple is saved. Now LEAVE!

Paige and Linda: Thank you Obama! C’mon girls! Let’s go home and wait for a new preview! *leaves the White House*

Barack Obama: Finally, I can go back to worrying about important things.

Maila: *runs in* Daddy, daddy!

Barack Obama: If this is about those crazy DE fans then I don’t want to hear it!

Maila: No, but Bamon fans just destroyed half of China. DE destroyed the other half. You have to fix it!

Barack Obama: ;_;…..I need a new job….



1 Comment

  1. ha ha, OMG, he needs a new job, poor guy. Delena fans are coming, hide yo kids. This ois exactly what i needed after a long of day of work, and people stressing me out.

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