2×13 – Daddy Issues

Thoughts, Questions, Comments on 2×13 Daddy Issues


The episode opens with Caroline who will without a doubt be the star of this episode. Candice Accola gives another in a rapidly increasing list of stellar performances. Anyway, Tyler is there waiting for Caroline and she gently makes it clear to him that they can’t be more than friends right now because she still has feelings for Matt. Then he gets all Agro Puppy on her because she knew that Mason was dead all this time.

Because he’s obviously missing some braincells and suffers from other forms of shortsightedness, Tyler fails to realize that if Caroline didn’t care about him, she’d have never bothered to stay with him through his first transformation when doing so could have KILLED her. 🙄

More proof that Caroline cares about him? She could totally have kicked his ass in half a heartbeat when he slammed her up against that car. But did she? No. She let him take out his anger and hurt and confusion on her. Seriously, it doesn’t matter what species they are. Some men are just stupid. 😆

Well Goooood Morning mister Salvatore. Is there honestly anything better to wake up to than Damon Salvatore naked in the morning? *raises hand* Me! Me! I know, I know! Damon Salvatore wet and naked in the morning. That’s definitely what I’m talking about. 8)

Seriously though, Damon’s room and bathroom are just stunning and sexy. Like the man himself.

*forces brain to get back to the actual content of the episode*

Andie Star – seriously what kind of name is that? – is on the tv doing her whole news reporter thing re all the people that have just disappeared/dropped dead in Mystic Falls lately.

Meanwhile over at the Gilbert house deadbeat douchebag dad aka John Gilbert is making himself right at home. Angry Elena makes an angry entrance leaving said douchebag in no doubt about the fact that she is no pleased to have him around.

Also, super cute with the high ponytail.

Adorably frazzled well sexed loved Jenna very quickly morphs into angry confused jenna when she spots John. He’s just Mr. Congeniality isn’t he?

I love the little look between Elena and Ric as he’s about to leave. Seriously, even Alaric is more of a father figure to Elena at this point than John is. At least Elena trusts Ric.

Okay, so I am not a lawyer and if someone knows American law please feel free to correct me but….Grayson and Miranda were Elena’s legal parents. Why they died, legal guardianship of Elena was transferred to Jenna. So biological father or not, John Gilbert doesn’t have any automatic parental rights over elena. In a normal world or universe, he’d have to sue for custody or am I wrong?

Now at the Castello di Salvatore, Damon and Stefan are discussing the idiocy quotient of Stefan bringing John Gilbert back to town in the first place. I am on Damon’s side in this. Surprise, surprise, right? 😆

I mean, I get Stefan’s whole do whatever it takes to protect Elena even making alliances of convenience with people you threatened to kill a dozen episodes ago HOWEVER. Plans that involve trusting John Gilbert, Isobel and Katherine are just as asinine in my opinion as plans that involve trusting Elijah. And actually, trusting Elijah might be a little less asinine because at least he has saved Elena’s life once already and spared Damon. John tried to kill both Stefan and Damon, Isobel kidnapped Jeremy and I don’t even have to expand on Katherine’s long list of misdeeds, do i?

So yeah, if the road to hell is paved with good intentions it must be because Stefan was laying the bricks. He means well but that doesn’t make his plan any less naïve or dangerous.

Also, love that Damon used that “As if I haven’t got enough problems already” line on Stefan, considering that Stefan spouted it at him in KOBK. 😆

Oh and now Stefan is sorry about Rose? Now he can be bothered to worry about how Damon is handling things? His timing sucks. After more than a century of brotherhood you’d think that he’d understand that with Damon there are windows of opportunity; times where you can reach him or he actually needs someone to lean on. But those windows don’t last long and if you miss them there is no going back and fixing it later. It was the same thing with Elena in Bloodlines when he told her “the rest of the story” and she went tearing off after Stefan.

Having said that and even though it came with a healthy dose of Damon Salvatore snark, I think it’s kind of a big deal that he admitted to Stefan that he’s feeling again and that he’s evolving. I know that he himself doesn’t totally believe it so he’s probably mocking himself in way but still. I think that Stefan’s safety net if you will has always been that Damon perceives himself as inferior to Stefan on a lot of levels. The minute that Damon actually realizes and accepts that that isn’t the case, I think he could easily overshadow Stefan. In that…Damon is by far the more social animal of the two. Despite everything he finds it much easier to build relationships than Stefan does and so if he’s not encumbered by his own self esteem/no one can love me issues, he really could have it all. I’m not sure that’s the case with Stefan.

Caroline texts Stefan and his Tuesday face comes on. 😆

Meanwhile Rabid fleabag Jules (saying that I have no love lost for this woman is the understatement of the century) appears to try and talk Tyler over to the dark side. “Abandon your friends Tyler, you know the people who actually give a crap about you and come hang out with me and my psycho rabid fleadog friends. You won’t regret it at all” 🙄 🙄

And Stefan and Caroline have themselves a little chat. Btw, I’m not a big fan of how these scenes were intercut. They’ve used this mechanism before and it just never works for me.

Speaking of understatements. “Jules had a run in with Damon”. Really Stefan? That’s what we’re calling attempted murder these days? A Run in? 😆

Stefan and Caroline. I love their dynamic. Whether it’s platonic or romantic, It just works. I’m forever going on about how one of the (many) reasons I don’t like S/E is because I hate who Elena becomes with Stefan. Well on a similar level, I like Stefan and Caroline together because he is SO much less annoying when he’s with her. There’s a line from Gossip Girl that really encapsulates this. Stefan with Caroline is “lighter, happier, less Stefan.” 😆 😆

Okay firstly, RFB Jules is all on it about it’s our nature to be enemies. And for someone who was apparently BBFs with Mason, why the hell doesn’t she know that he was sleeping with a vampire? Mason and Katherine were together for a while. They had to have been. And if Jules is so clever at sniffing vampires out, you can’t tell me that she wouldn’t have made Kat in a hot second? So….WTF?

Also this whole it’s my duty and my honor spiel, combined with her determination to get to Tyler leads me to think that there is just something about that Lockwood bloodline in the same way there is something about the Petrova bloodline.

Perhaps, the method for breaking the curse differs slightly if you’re a werewolf or a vampire. And maybe not any and every vampire or werewolf is actually capable of breaking said curse.  Maybe they don’t just need a werewolf. Maybe they need a Lockwood werewolf. Food for thought anyway.

Damon and Elena. Aren’t they pretty? And don’t you just love the rapid banter and the restored comfort level? Yes, I do too. I especially loved that Elena had no problems just telling Damon everything that was going on with John and that they both agree that trusting John is so not the answer to their problem. I wonder if the writers are going to take this to its extreme conclusion and give us a situation where Elena sides with Damon instead of Stefan on the best way to handle a life or death situation. That could be really interesting if they did that. Which means they probably won’t 😆 😆

I love Elena’s “What does that mean?” when Damon said, “I’m the Good guy now, remember?” Like I said before about how if and when Damon accepts his capacity to be good he becomes a bigger threat to Stefan, it’s even more true with Elena. The second she can’t say she’s with Stefan  because he’s good and Damon’s bad is the second she’s going to have to start really confronting her feelings for both brothers.

Seriously, Stefan is so much less annoying when he’s not around Elena. I don’t mind this side of him. He really does need to embrace his inner bad ass more often. 😆

Interesting that Stefan started to vamp out when he had Tyler pinned. Wonder if there was a specific reason for it.

RFB Jules and her psycho RBF bF, Brady. Die you mangy mongrels. Die!!

So the Salvatore Lockwood peace talks go about as well as they did the last time Ambassador Stefan tried negotiating with Mason. In other words. Not well.

Mini Gilbert! I heart him.

Okay, I missed something. Several somethings.  Because when did Bonnie catch onto Skeezy Luka and Skeezy Jonas betraying her and when did she and Jeremy get to be so smiley and touchy feely? I don’t actually care mind you but it’s still strange 😆 😆

Did like the way that Bonnie told Skeezy Jonas to bugger off although I did kind of have to laugh when she goes “I trusted Luka”. I was thinking if by trust you mean nearly kill, then you sure did 😆

Jenna and Alaric. Cuteness. Also 😆 at the look on Ric’s face when John starts to invite himself to join them.

Damon and Elena, Seriously, so pretty together. And all in each other’s space and looking so coupley for a non couple. 😆

I’ve been thinking about Elena’s whole be the better man spiel and I conclude this. It’s not about being the better man in comparison to John or to Tyler or even to Stefan. It’s about being the better version of himself. And if I’ve interpreted that right then it opens some interesting doors I think. It means first of all that what Elena wants from Damon and what Damon thinks Elena wants, isn’t (as I suspected)  exactly the same thing. The man she sees in him and wants him to be is the man that he himself is struggling to accept and come to terms with. But it’s already who he is.

The problem though with Elena is that she wants Damon to be that man and at the same time she’s not ready to love that man. Which means that in a lot of ways its selfish and counterproductive of her to force the issue with him so much instead of taking a step back.

Tyler really undid a lot of the progress he’d made in my esteem with his actions in this episode. I get that he’s confused and whatever but it’s especially times like that that you’re supposed to trust the people that have always been there for you. I get him not trusting Stefan. It’s not like they’ve ever been BFFs. BUT there’s no excuse for him turning his back that way on Caroline.

Color me relieved that Damon is also in on the Let’s get immune to vervain plot.

And if John really thinks that Damon is ever going to trust him and therefore go out of his way to make John think that he can trust Damon then I want some of whatever he’s smoking 😆 😆

Matt and Caroline just leave me kind of indifferent. I just don’t care one way or the other. Don’t love em but don’t hate him. I had preferred Forwood but after Tyler’s actions tonight…eh.

Stefan and Caroline would be a cute couple but I doubt they’d ever give us the satisfaction.

RFB Jules. Seriously, who do I have to bribe to get the slowest, most painful death possible written into the script for her?

Candice Accola killed these scenes. My heart ached for Caroline this whole time and I would have jumped into the tv and beat Tyler senseless if he hadn’t let her out of the cage.

Words cannot express how much I despise Brady for torturing Caroline the way he did. People can argue and compare it to what Damon did to Mason but the reality is that Mason was an active threat to Damon and the people he loves. Caroline didn’t do a damn thing to anyone except try to protect a friend.

Stefan wants to build a family? O_o Every now and again he just throws these lines in there that really creep me out. Like his whole “I had to know her” thing and that line at the end of BNW where he’s said he came back to town for Elena. You add all these things up and it starts to sound very stepford in a sinister sorta way. To me at least.

Just when I think I couldn’t hate RFB Jules any more than I already do, magically she manages to anger/piss me off even further.

This scene with Damon and Andie is very interesting because it’s the first time I can recall Damon actively not turning on the charm in the presence of an attractive female. I mean, we’re talking about a man who casually flirts with everyone. 😆

I know people have been talking about Elena being jealous. I don’t think that’s quite it. But I do think that the fact that she was even watching them and that she bothered to bring it up with Damon, says a lot about how aware she is of him.

They were totally having a moment though when Stefan called. Elena knows – she might not remember –but she knows that Damon loves her and I think it’s perfectly possible for her to be wondering if Damon’s sudden (temporary thank god) aversion to the female sex has anything to do with her.

The thing is and we saw it last week, Elena really does not like to see Damon in pain. And because his walls are crumbling, it’s that much more evident that he’s suffering. And it’s eating at her. I think it’s one of the reasons she’s been sticking so close and getting so touchy feely with him. But again, she’s at war with herself because she wants to comfort him but she’s only going to have the right to do that when she’s ready to commit to him.

Okay, she didn’t just touch his arm. She flat out clutched at it. I love however that he called her out on the fact that she’s started taking it for granted that he’s going to do things her way or in ways that uphold the standard that she’s set for him.

It’s not the first time that she’s manipulated him emotionally but he calls her out pretty much every time so that when he does (inevitably :lol:) do what she asks, she knows that it’s because he made a choice to do it.

And I love the way that Damon and Elena reacted to John crashing the party. It was a very couple-like reaction and you really got that sense that it was Damon and Elena as a unit vs John.

It’s been a long time since I’ve said this but I adore how much direct eye contact there always is between Damon and Elena. It’s so electric and intense.

How amazing is Caroline that even under torture she didn’t reveal how many vampires are in mystic Falls. I love that girl.

Question: How come Caroline’s super strength wasn’t enough to break open that cage or twist the metal or whatever?

Fierce Elena is my favorite. I really enjoyed watching her put John in his place and explain that he can say whatever he wants about being her father but she will never be his daughter.

‘Kay, I am not even going to comment this werewolf/vampire witch confrontation. It was just made of awesome. Even better than the Stefan/Damon/Katherine fight in Masquerade. So I’m just going to sit back in awe and enjoy watching Damon rip doggie hearts out mid air and Stefan of the super stake catching reflexes 😆 😆

I honestly can’t get over the fact that Tyler hesitated even for a split second to let Caroline out. What an idiot.

Okay so Skeezy Jonas just earned the removal of the word Skeezy in front of every mention of his name. it’s the least I can do after he pwned those wolves. 😆

Stefan and Caroline are legit so sweet together. I’d love to see what a real relationship between them would be like but even as friends they’re amazing. Sad though when you have more chemistry with a potential BFF than with your actual girlfriend.

And Caroline is just made of all the most amazing things in the world. I love and am in awe of her strength.

I don’t trust a word out of John’s mouth. So that so called solution to how to kill an original? I’m not buying it out with more conclusive proof than John Gilbert or Isobel’s word.

Also, John said if Isobel was successful then Klaus would never come to town. Since we know that he will, I’m thinking that doesn’t bode well for Isobel you know…staying alive.

Sucks that Caroline got caught in that lie by Matt. After the shitty day she had, she could have used a break.

You go, baby Vamp! Tyler deserved every single bloody word. I might have had a tiny bit of sympathy for him had he not compounded his mistake by going back to the people who tried to kill her and told them about the moonstone which I am pretty sure they didn’t even think existed until the idiot mentioned it. Argh.

He is going to have to grovel BIG time to fix this.

John and his whole emotional manipulation 🙄 🙄 🙄 The bloody bracelet is probably cursed or something. 😆

S/E *yawn*

Two RFBs and a silly little puppy. I think that’s one Lockwood that needs to go back to obedience school.

And seriously, how do these idiots not know that Mason was in love with a vampire? I thought they were such a close knit pack. Honor and Loyalty 🙄

That scene with the three girls was so cute. A lovely gesture on Stefan’s part. But seriously, he’s just better with Caroline. I can buy into the affection there in a way that I just don’t when it comes to him and Elena. Part of that is that you have different expectations of a friend and a boyfriend but I don’t think that’s all of it. Stefan and Caroline just fit better.

And now Damon and the “sexy reporter girl.” There were A LOT of interesting things in this conversation.

Starting with Damon talking about how he misses killing and it’s in his nature and how his feelings for Elena make him feel out of control. I think what he said last week about missing being human was genuine. And I think that he misses killing in part because that is how he was coping with missing being human. That explains the need for other kinds of distractions now that the killing sprees are no longer du jour. I also think that when he kills he’s in control – it’s up to him if the victim lives or dies – in a way that he is clearly not when it comes to Elena.

Further, he said that he doesn’t trust himself around anyone. And I think that’s a deliberately ambiguous statement. Yes, he thinks he could hurt someone. But it’s also an emotional trust about not revealing his true self to people. At least not without making sure that they forget about it two seconds later.

I was also struck by the fact that Damon understands or instinctively senses that Stefan isn’t the real obstacle to him and Elena being together. I think there is a part of Damon that is very sure of the fact that Elena has real feelings for him. And that part knows that all things being equal, he would have just as much chance with her as anyone including his brother.

But all things aren’t equal, at least not yet. And that is where his focus is. He says he’s bad but I think that’s kind of a deduction if you will. He was never good enough for the people that he loved most. He believes that he doesn’t have good in him. So by default, the logic leads him to conclude that he’s fundamentally bad when that couldn’t be further from the truth.

One of the last points I want to address is his whole “It’s who I am” spiel. He mentioned it in the scene with Jessica too. The thing is though that our boy is in the middle of a self confessed existential crisis which by definition implies massive massive amounts of confusion.

The truth right now is that Damon hasn’t decided or figured out all of who he is.  He knows who he’s been in the past and he is, as I said, struggling with who he is becoming. And who he’s becoming is – ha ha – the best version of who he already is. So see, Elena’s not so far off the mark after all.

Andie said something important and True. “Love does that. It changes us.”

And contrary to all this noise I’m forever hearing about how wrong it is to change for someone else, it’s my personal belief that if loving someone doesn’t make you want to be the best person that you can be, if you don’t think that the one you love deserves the best that you can give them….well then you’re not doing it right.

Love does change us. It helps us grow. It inspires us. It helps us accomplish things that we weren’t even sure we were capable of.

You can see Damon grappling with that and you can also see (hard to miss with the come here and kiss me line 😆 ) the moment that he decides, you know what? I don’t even want to deal with this right now.

Because it is a lot to deal with. Developing a strong and true sense of self, of who you are and who you want to be is not an overnight process. In Damon’s case, it’s not even a century long process.

It’s hard and it hurts and you fall and you start again and sometimes all you need is one person who believes that you can make it, in order to keep going.

Whatever else exists between them, Elena does believe in Damon. She believes that there is good in him and that he can be the man she sees in him. The complications that arise from that belief are numerous and they some times create distance between Damon and Elena that neither one of them actually wants to be there.

The telling thing though is that complications and all, she hasn’t walked away and neither has he. I think we all know what that means 😉

Also, Kat, John Gilbert and Isobel? Just go burn in hell already, would you? And make sure to take the rabid fleabags with you. 😆



  1. Thank you SO much for this. After all the anti-Delena stuff I’ve read today, I needed this. Once again, my friend, you are in my head. 😀

    Die, fleabags, die!!!!!!

  2. I’m still in awe over this episode. So much action happened. I am hoping that with Jonas helping take down the wolves ( very ninja btw) that they take Elena/elijah agreement for what it is. I’m trusting him more then father/uncle. Still perplexed as to why John gave Damon original killing drug when he stated Isobel is going to do something to stop him even coming.

    Damon’s scene along with Caroline stole the show. Still in awe of their acting and character development. Damn Damon in the shower was the best episode opener ever. It even beats seeing Alexander’s fully naked in S3.01 in True blood. I’m going to re watch and come back with my thoughts on the Damon scenes

  3. Pretty much agree with everything that you’ve said.

    I think the thing that bothers me about Tyler is that (as you commented) he didn’t stop to think about the reasoning behind Caroline having to keep her promise of not revealing Damon and Stefan’s identity as well as the Mason drama. He didn’t even want to hear her explanation and you can’t tell me that if the situation were reversed, he wouldn’t have done exactly the same thing. What a moron.

    I have loved Tyler’s character development and the shades of Forwood that we were seeing but Tyler’s turnaround in this ep has definitely changed that for me. I cannot fathom how he could put his trust in a couple of strangers – yes, they’re fellow fleabags and “friends” of Uncle Mason, but really he doesn’t know anything about them – as opposed to hearing Caroline out. And I don’t know, maybe NOT HESITATING and waiting for Caroline to actually beg him to release her from the torture cage of doom. What the hell Tyler, sort your shit out.

    Oh Caroline, my poor bb, I love you so much. Candice Accola has been killing it in the last few eps. Caroline (and Elena for that matter) impressed me so much with their HBIC attitude all throughout this ep. I love the simplicity and straightforwardness of their characters atm; they’re not waiting around to be saved, they’re assertive and all around BAMFs.

    And while I’m on the subject of Elena, I loved her hair up! It was so nice to have something other than down and straight and BORING. So cute.

    Not gonna lie… I totally zone out when Stefan and Elena are in the same scenes. There’s just nothing there at all. It’s embarassing. And you’re totally right, when they’re apart, they’re just better and more interesting people. Not that I’m a Stefan fan anyway, but when he’s away from Elena he is less annoying and almost loses his boring, do-gooder vibe. I actually find myself enjoying his dialogue and interactions with the other characters (especially Caroline – only as friends though cos I really do want Forwood to work :S).

    Stefan is still dumb as dogshit… as you said, why put your trust in people that have burned you (and your loved ones) before? His stupidity really irks me sometimes; but it’s how smug he is that really gets to me. I don’t take well to Stefan’s whole holier-than-thou, I’m so much better than Damon crap. He’s always right there, waiting for and expecting Damon to screw up. That’s why I don’t think there’s any hope of me actually genuinely liking him as a character, and especially not while he’s still “got the girl”. Anyway off on a tangent there…

    Elena was using her head this week and she is definitely at her best when she does that. Every scene of Delena though, my heart was aching. Ian Somerhalder never fails to impress me with his amazingness. Honestly, I could feel everything that Damon was feeling when he was with Elena or thinking of Elena or talking about her. It’s like watching poetry on the screen. I just want him to win. I really do. And I don’t necessarily mean win Elena; I just find myself rooting for him, wanting him to find peace and be happy, no matter what.

    I have to admit that I’m still a little weary of Elena. Although she impressed me with her fiesty-ness and strength this week (it was so reminiscent of S1 Elena)… I just want her to get with the program already. Take a step away from the drama and take a good look at what the hell is going on around her. Her relationship with Stefan is awkward and really wasn’t built on the strongest of foundations anyway. I want her to stop with the better man stuff, I know she means well and thinks she’s saying the right thing; but is she completely blind to what Damon is going through? I think she needs to tread a bit more carefully and really think about her words and actions and the consequences of them. I do still love her. I just want her to pull her head out of her bum.

    I’m sorry I’ve taken over your whole critique here but one more thing: the Rabid Fleabags must pay and then die slowly. And the preview of 2.14 broke my heart. That is all.

  4. Awesome as always and I couldn’t agree with every word more.

    To your question about John’s parental rights: Elena was never legally adopted. Her birth certificate was faked, if I recall the end of Bloodlines correctly. Therefore, John never legally signed away his paternal rights. If he really wanted to push it and be a dick, one DNA test and he has custody.

  5. Gahhh, you girl just rock!! and this blog just made my day!! I agree with everything you say :)) By the way, the said solution about killing an original- the oak tree ash- is taken from the books – not that it was very successful as I recall, but there Elena was an angel or spirit or some other bulshit like that and came with an army of ghosts federal soldiers to kill Klaus. Anyways, just love Stefan and Caroline together as the poster child for Prozak is actually smiling when he`s with her- not his doom and gloom self 🙂 🙂
    And Damon in bathrooms? OH MY…. They should forbid him from ever putting any clothes again…shame really

  6. Great recap, love the totally biased angle, hehe…
    words cannot express how much hatred I feel towards these wolves, the only thing that kept me sane was naked Damon, soo gorgeous.. I wish the writers would make a habit of starting the episode with him and his bathroom, just to let everyone feel good, right?

  7. Hey Ciara I have a have a question: What do you make of the song playing at the end scenes with Stelena & Damon/Andie??? I’m not sure what song it is but i’m sure there was something about memory lost or loosing them???

    • Losing Your Memory by Ryan Star. I’ve definitely fallen in LOVE with it.

      • Thanks Annie. I love finding out the songs they use, cos just like in True Blood with the Episode song titles, TVD show something with their choices

  8. I know this is a late review but; you pretty much just summed up EVERYTHING that was in my head. I totally agree with you on everything.

  9. I’m so happy I finally found another watcher ho doesn’t really like the whole werewolves witches and whatnot (how bout THAT alliteration? O.o) part of the show, it bores me for the most part and I can’t bring myself to get involved in their plots.

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