I’m A Work In Progress – D. Salvatore, 2×04 Memory Lane

This is a fly by post with my thoughts on the D/E motel scene and the final D/E scene in episode 3×19. I haven’t watched the whole episode nor do I plan to at the moment. I also haven’t watched any of the episodes since 3×13. With that frame of reference established, I’m going to start with the last scene first.

It’s possibly one of the most flawless moments in TVD history, certainly between these two. In this and the motel scene that famous “understanding” was back and for once it was verbalized. They’re finally telling each other the things that they’ve learned or noticed about each other and giving each other a chance to fill in the blanks or confirm what they always suspected to be true about each other.

I titled this post with one of Damon’s lines from Memory Lane. It always stuck out in my mind because he said the words to Jenna but he was looking right at Elena. In one of the drabbles from my Coming Home series, I wrote that the words and the look were almost a warning or a statement of intent, Damon’s way of telling Elena that one day, he was going to be the kind of man that she could love at which point, she’d have no place left to hide. Well, that day appears to have come.

Damon’s response to Elena’s fear of her own feelings was the perfect one. We’ve seen Elena push Damon to accept responsibility and consequences so many times. Now he’s pushing her to do the same when it comes to her emotions. He’s not going to make it easy for her to run from what she feels, nor should he. He finally feels worthy of her. He might still struggle with his Stefan issues or be scared that Elena won’t choose him over his brother but he doesn’t seem to doubt that he’s good enough anymore and that is a massive step forward for him character wise.

As for Elena, I adore her. Sometimes, I think Damon himself doesn’t quite realize how many times he wrong footed her, how many times he went out of his way to damage her fledgling faith in him. The miracle of all it is that despite his (and Stefan’s) best efforts, Elena has fought long and hard to keep sight of who she believes Damon to be, at his core. That’s the man she’s fallen (or falling depending on how you want to look at it) in love with. But she’s scared to commit to him. She’s scared to tell the world that she loves him because he is scared to let the world see the man that she fell in love with. He only shows that side to her and for a long time, it allowed her to question and grapple with whether or not what she saw was even real. Now that she knows or has decided that it is, she’s questioning whether or not it’s enough.

When you love Damon, you spend a lot of time defending him. We all know that and we all know that it ain’t always easy. More than her feelings, I think Elena is wondering if she can stand by him through thick and thin. The AMAZING thing about that struggle though is that she inherently understands that Damon will accept nothing less than everything and more to the point, she believes that he deserves nothing less. The whole not doing things in half measures? She and Damon have that in common.

Damon is right to stand his ground and put the choice on her shoulders. But Elena is right not to commit before she is ready. But I think (I hope) people are finally seeing that Elena has never taken pleasure in hurting Damon. She’s not trying to lead him on or break his heart – all the opposite. It’s as hard for her as it is for him and has been for a long time but I don’t think that’s been obvious until now.

Moving onto the motel scene. I particularly loved the conversation about why Damon doesn’t let other people see the good in him. Because as I said above, this is actually quite a large part of Elena’s problem. It was raised in the episode where they fought after he tried to kill Caroline’s father as well. She said something along the line of not wanting him to be what other people think, implying she wants him to be the man she sees in him instead.

And here Damon explains that he is loathe to deal with people’s expectations. I’ve been saying this for years so I felt kind of vindicated 😆 Believe the worst of Damon and he’ll go out of his way to deliver – at least that’s how it used to be. Now and with Elena, it’s different. I think one of the reasons she was so overwhelmed is because the enormity of it finally hit her. For centuries, Damon has lived down to expectations and only for her and with her has he tried to do the opposite. It is a hell of a thing to realize that you’ve had that kind of impact on someone, never mind on someone like Damon.

And as for the kiss, it’s never been a secret that she’s attracted to him or that she wants him. But that kiss was fueled by a lot more than just lust. She wanted – and still wants – to be close to him. But wanting something and knowing how to have it are two different things. It’s Elena’s turn to be a work in progress and eventually she’ll get to the point where she’s looking for ways to be with him rather than reasons to run.

Returning To The Scene Of The Crime

So I was bored and pretty cranky and I figured that re-watching and recapping 3×01 couldn’t actually worsen my mood any. I’ve even gone so far as to re-cap 3×02  but I can’t (and won’t) make any promises beyond that. So consider this random until and unless, I actually do catch up. 😆

You can read my recap of 3×01 here and my recap of 3×02 here

ETA: I’ve added recaps from 3×03 to 3×06. That’s as far as I go with them though. I’ve watched all the other episodes (3×07 was REALLY awful) and while it was a good way to deal with my insomnia, not enough has changed to truly suck me back in. But D/E have been gorgeous and seeing Damon punch Stefan out in 3×08 was so worth it.  The writing for Stefan on the other hand gets worse and worse. He has a lot of nerve being jealous over the D/E kiss after everything he’s done to Elena lately. Worse, I know the writers aren’t going to let it go. Eventually Stefan is going to “return to normal” and ruin everything, like he always does.

I basically live in fear the fact that Damon will have his time with Elena and then he’ll lose her. And I don’t think he would recover from that. Sigh. I really hope I’m wrong.

3×03 here, 3×04 here, 3×05 here (that one is on the short side and mostly just me ranting. Didn’t like the episode all that much, it turns out ), and 3×06 here.

My Eyes Linger Longer Than They Should

The title of this post comes from the song “I Should Go” which played during Damon and Elena’s final scene in his bedroom. It’s especially fitting when you considering that lingering looks are something they’ve had going for them since the very beginning.

As he lay dying, the woman he loved gave him everything she could and so much more than he asked for.  It was beautiful. They are beautiful. The love they feel for each other is real and this moment, THEIR moment, can never be taken away from them or from us.

Read my recap of As I Lay Dying here

Ashes to Ashes & Dust to Dust

It was one the best episodes of TVD ever.

It was heartbreaking and and emotionally exhausting but so bittersweet and beautiful and just when I thought I couldn’t love Elena, Damon and Delena any more than I do, this episode happens and new heights are hit. In spite of all of the tragedy and loss, I’m actually quite optimistic about where the show and our couple is headed. So grab some tissues and brace yourselves…

Read my full recap of The Sun Also Rises here

Attn: World – A Memo From Damon Salvatore

To: The World c/o The Vampire Diaries Writing Team

From: Damon Salvatore, previously known as a psycho w/no redeeming qualities, currently known as the go to guy in a crisis and the man who will do anything for love.

Subject: When The Woman I Love Is In Danger of Dying THIS Is How I Roll.

When this episode begins, I, Damon Salvatore am lounging sexily in my bed listening to an Original that I don’t trust any farther than I could throw him (so yeah, not at all) tell the woman I love and my idiot brother about how he’s got some conveniently magical potion that *might* bring her back to life after his brother drinks every single drop of blood in her body.

Shockingly to the rest of them – I did mention they’re all idiots right? – I actually think this is a BAD idea. Pointing this out earns me a blithe “then I’ll be dead” from Elena and a shrug from Stefan. A shrug!

Because you know, it’s not like we care if she lives or dies or anything. Unable to stand the stupid I retreat. Elena eventually comes after me – is it just me or is she wandering into my bedroom a lot lately – to tell me that she wants me to understand why she’s doing this. And here I thought my opinion didn’t matter to her.

It’s funny, until I met Elena I didn’t think there was anyone in the world who could possibly be as stubborn as me. That’ll teach me to make assumptions, won’t it?

I find myself admitting that I can’t lose her. It’s as close as I can come to telling her how absolutely petrified I am for her without completely losing my mind. And when she turns those doe eyes on me and says that I won’t lose her – especially after she told me not so long ago that I’d lost her forever – well…fear got the best of me. I’m not particularly proud of it but I panicked worse than Stefan at an Easter Bunny convention.  I’d rather live in the depths of hell for the rest of eternity than watch her die.

So I force her to drink  my blood. If we can find another way, she doesn’t die and if she dies, she’ll come back. I know I shouldn’t have taken the choice from her but what she’s not getting is that right now she *has* no choices; there’s no middle ground for her. It’s eternal life or no life at all.

Of course then Stefan aka The Hypocrite patrol strides through the door and decides to get violent because I did to Elena the same thing he did to me 147 years ago. As always it’s “do I say, never as I do” with him.

Still, the aftermath isn’t pretty; Elena’s yelling, Stefan’s bleeding – because I got him good with that lamp  and then I have to deal with Elijah’s lectures. Much as I hate to admit it, the dude has a point. I took her choice away from her, now I have to find a way to give it back.

This involves alcohol, a meeting with Klaus, working with Alaric, emotionally blackmailing Katherine, snapping a witches neck, NOT killing Boy Wonder and getting Caroline and that Lockwood kid out of the tomb. Of course because no good deed ever goes unpunished and bad things happen in threes I 1) get bitten by wolf in transition, 2) find out that Klaus has Elena and 3) find out that he has a back up witch and werewolf and won’t even use me as the freaking vampire sacrifice. Instead, he has Katherine turn Jenna.

Which makes me wonder why the hell Elena wasn’t IN the house WITH Jenna so that Jenna wouldn’t have been taken in by Katherine’s ruse.

ETA: I just found out that Stefan took Elena hiking all day and then just stood there while Klaus took her away. He’s either calm because he knows that thanks to me if she dies, she’ll come back. Or he’s….I’ve learned a lot of words in 170 years but I’m still coming up blank here. Feel free to fill in your own adjectives.

In any event, I think this pretty much qualifies as a no good, horrible, very bad day.  Odds are I’m going to die. Odds are Elena will still be pissed at me when I do. If  she’s even alive herself.

It might not have worked out the way I wanted it to but I had to try. I had to do something to try and save her or buy her time or save her friends. Because as many times as I’ve undoubtedly screwed up in my life, I’d rather try and fail than do nothing and just let Klaus kill her.

I love her more than my life. Nothing else – truly nothing else – matters more than that.

Now that that’s all out there, I’m going to give Ciara her blog back….and go have another drink.

Ahem.  From Damon Salvatore’s lips to your…well I’ll let you decide where you want his lips to go. I’m in a generous mood 😆

Other random thoughts from me on this episode.

I love Alaric and I especially love his bromance with Damon. Jenna and Alaric are cute as are Tyler and Caroline. I was off the Forewood train – not that I was ever totally on it – but I’ll take my cues from Caroline. If she can forgive him so can I.

I’m not even going to bother talking about Stefan. I will however say that in the face of his weakness, Elena’s bravery and strength is just magnified. But that is not a reason to keep them together. For the love of all that is holy, I hope she gets away from him soon. I could not be any more serious. She doesn’t need to be with Damon just yet but she needs out of her Stelena prison.

Klaus is still not scary but he’s mildly more entertaining than he was.

I also liked the D/K scenes. The shoe is on the other foot now, Damon using her love for Stefan to manipulate her rather than her using it to hurt him. I think these two could be half decent allies. He’s never going to love her again but color me shocked, they could actually be the best kind of frenemies.

And that’s pretty much all I got here, really so I won’t be doing a full recap. It was a really good episode but there wasn’t enough screen time dedicated to things that I genuinely care about for me to bother with a scene by scene breakdown. Forgive me? 😉

10 Things I Hate About…

I titled the post like this because I’m going to start off with a quote from the movie 10 Things I Hate About You.

Chastity to Bianca: So, I know you can be overwhelmed. And I know you can be underwhelmed. But can you ever just be whelmed?

Bianca to Chastity: I think you can in Europe.

If it’s possible to just be whelmed, then I think that’s how I feel about this episode. Normally, I like episodes better after re watching them. For the first time, I think I came out of a re watch liking the episode less than the first time I saw it.

Is anyone else bored with Klaus? I'm bored with Klaus. Starting to get annoyed too.

There were things I liked and things that I didn’t like but overall, this episode didn’t do it for me. I think that shows because this may well be the shortest recap I’ve ever written. I didn’t feel like there much to say. Read the full recap here.

I Will Always Choose You – The Last Dance Revisited.

Because, of all the amazing lines Damon has had, and the A game that Ian Somerhalder brings to every single one of them, that line and that scene still stand out. It’s a DEfinite milestone.

Now. I don’t know if it’s because of how much I hated the episodes from 2×14 to 2×16 and even 2×17 barring the last ten minutes of it that made me appreciate this episode so much. It’s either that or the fact that I seriously tuned out anything related to S/E & B/D. If it didn’t have Damon and Elena in it, I don’t think I retained it the first time around. I know there were mixed feelings within the fan base so we’ll see how I go as I rewatch. You’re basically getting my thoughts in real time.

Read them here