We all know that Damon loves Elena, that he’s in love with her. But the question that I’ve heard so many people asking is what does Elena feel for Damon? I know that there is frustration with how difficult it is to discern what Elena is thinking and feeling when it comes to him. Does she love him or hate him? Does she care or doesn’t she? If he was gone would she miss him? If he died would she mourn him?

And if the answer to the last two questions is yes, then the next question is why? Would it be because he’s Stefan’s brother? Would it be because Jeremy’s grown attached to him? Or would it be because she – independent of anything or anyone else – wants to have him in her life?

I predicted  before the season started that by mid season, Elena would have recognized her feelings for Damon. I still think that we’re on target for that because recognizing her feelings doesn’t necessarily mean admitting them to anyone else. At some point in the next two or three episodes I think that we as an audience will be able to tell either through her words or actions, that Damon means a lot more to her than she’s been willing to own up to.

First Impressions

When she first met him, Elena was quite charmed by Damon. How could she help it? He was going out of his way to be very charming indeed. But Elena’s not stupid and it didn’t take her long to realize that Damon’s charm such as it was, was very practiced, very smooth. 

Too smooth.

She realizes in Friday Night Bites in that scene where he tries to kiss her in the parking lot that, as she says, “there’s a double meaning behind everything you say” and that what is more, he does it all on purpose. Elena is no longer charmed.

But she’s still Elena and she is –  as she demonstrated by offering condolences on his loss of Katherine – a sympathetic soul who believes in second chances. So when Damon apologizes in Family Ties, she doesn’t shut him down. She recognizes that he and Stefan have a complicated and tortured relationship and that Damon suffers from this as much as Stefan does.

Elena’s feelings for Damon are initially dominated by the fact that she can see and empathize with his emotional distress.

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Delena – Remember

So I often find inspiration for my fics in people’s fan videos but this is the first time – to my knowledge anyway 🙂 – that someone has found inspiration for a video in one of my stories. Kazz8170 made this awesome video based on chapters 23 &24 of  “Care For A Sip?”

Thanks, Kazz!

Because/In Spite Of 101

I thought I’d kick off this blog for real for real with a post on a topic that is at this point one of my trademarks. Consider it an introduction for those of you unfamiliar with it and a refresher course for those of you that are.

Love in the TVD universe can be divided into two categories: Conditional and Unconditional or as I like to call them “Love Because” and “Love In Spite Of”. I especially use these two labels to differentiate between the way that Damon loves people and the way that Stefan loves people.

I should point out before going any further that loving someone because does not mean that there is no aspect of that love that exists in spite of and likewise loving in spite of does not mean that there are no elements of loving because. All forms of love include parts of each. It’s just a matter of what dominates.

Damon Salvatore: King of the Unconditional

Damon’s love is unconditional. It always has been. It is in fact one of the reasons that he does not love often. He’s too loyal and fierce in love to be flaky about it. Now, Damon is a big believer in give and take and in getting what you give. At his core, he has spent eternity searching for someone who will love him unconditionally and that is why when he extends love, he does so without strings.

Damon has, at least in my opinion, a remarkable amount of self awareness. He knows that he has flaws and he knows that he’s made mistakes. This is what allows him to be so forgiving of other people’s flaws. He’s not in a position to judge so he doesn’t. He also understands that if he can’t look past other people’s transgressions, he can’t expect them to look past his. It’s also important to note that he possessed this quality as a human and that as a result it magnified when he turned into a vampire.

Stefan Salvatore: My Heart Is Yours But Watch Out For The Strings

Stefan as a human may have fallen into a trap, ironically because everyone loved him so much. He was the good son, the favorite son. He was the paragon of virtue and it seems possible that he came to believe that those were the only reasons that he was loved and that as a result he also came to believe that only people who are “good” deserve love. He has therefore always been drawn to the good and positive qualities that he sees in people.

But after he turned, that belief presented him with an intense conflict. Suddenly he was confronted with the fact that he was no longer “good” and therefore no longer “deserving” of love. Stefan carries to my mind an incredible and unhealthy amount of self loathing for his vampire self. This means that he struggles to accept himself and struggles to accept that others can accept him.

He is unforgiving of his own flaws and therefore has a very hard time accepting flaws in other people. And see, I’m of the belief that true love can’t exist without total acceptance. So this is where Stefan’s love falls down and becomes conditional to me. He only loves certain things about people and while he doesn’t necessarily or completely turn his back on people who have disappointed him, he allows those disappointments to condition the rest of the relationship in ways that ultimately force it to fall apart.

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Just Because

Another week and four days to go until the next new episode of TVD. So to kill time and because this scene is awesome and so are D/E, I’m posting the dance scene from MMF.

I remember listening to Marcos Siega (who is directing episode 2×12 btw) explain some of the direction that he gave the actors in this scene. So far as he [Siega] is concerned, this is the scene where Damon really recognizes that he’s fallen in love with Elena and I think that it shows.

A journey of 1000 miles starts with one step

The name of the blog says it all. It’s about Damon, Elena and Love. Their love to be more specific; what it is, what it’s not, what it has been and what it will be. They’ve come far but the road ahead of them is still long. This blog will be around to chronicle the journey and savor the pitstops.

I’m not a big fan of the books so all of my discussion, analysis and random ramblings are based on Damon and Elena’s relationship in the CW TV version.

I don’t own anything or anyone; that goes without saying. This blog is for entertainment purposes only.

A special shout out to my D/E Circle peeps and thanks to TD for the awesome banners. This blog is for you guys. 🙂